But the newspaper was so soft, that it did no harm to ant

Ant gets abducted by space monkeys

Ant was able to drink a 10 liter gallon of steroids O_O and withstood being hit.
Ant had a seizure from drinking the steroids and fell into a pit of boiling lava.

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^ All credit is given to Belg for one heck of a sig :3


Castellan of the Timelords

Luckily, ant hallucinated the lava, it was only a pool of water.

Ant gets hit by a flying mad cow

EDIT: 900th post

The flying mad cow was his uncle and the cow stopped before he hit his nephew.

Cow got hungry and cooks the ant.

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^ All credit is given to Belg for one heck of a sig :3


Castellan of the Timelords

But the cow was mad so it cooked itself

Ant gets squashed by CAPS LOCK

but super mute came and saved the day!


super mute accidentally throws cow onto poor wiw ant

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Ant was applied to Operator Application and was promoted to hop then op then sop and finally admin and defended itself from the cow banning it from life with it's admin powers.

God called hax on the ant and smote the ant from the face of the earth.

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^ All credit is given to Belg for one heck of a sig :3


Castellan of the Timelords

But the and dodges the smite, and survives.

Ant gets sucked into a jet engine

But the jet engine stalled before the ant got ground up inside the turbine.

Plane crashes into a nuclear facility which causes it to blow up making an explosion 5x greater than a nuke.

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^ All credit is given to Belg for one heck of a sig :3


Castellan of the Timelords

Ant was in space when this happened

Ant gets hit by a metal baseball bat

glancing blow causes minimal damage ant is fine



trampled by ecstatic baseball player

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Luckily, ant had diamond armor on, so he survived with 4 hearts left.

Ant gets kicked by a cow

random cow on a baseball field? the heck?

cows are peaceful and only push you


gets pushed off of random cliff that was next to the baseball field

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But Fluttershy had been flying alongside the cliff and helped the ant.

Rarity was grossed out by the ant and therefore squished it

But ant found a hole in the ground, which he went into.

Ant is cooked by a human

The human realized that it was a poor ant and decided to help it by freeing it.

Ant was drowned by dog dropping O_O

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^ All credit is given to Belg for one heck of a sig :3


Castellan of the Timelords

Ant had rocket boosters, which got him out of there fast enough

Ant gets hit by a ghast fireball

Herobrine favored the ant and obliterated the fireball saving the ants life.

Notch got ticked off at the ant for teaming with Herobrine so Notch /banlife Ant.

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^ All credit is given to Belg for one heck of a sig :3


Castellan of the Timelords

luckily this is real life and not minecraft so the ant is safe


gets electrocuted whilst going to get some noms

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Luckily, the physiology of the ant can withstand 1,000,000,000 volts of electricity and the ant felt nothing when struck.

The ant has the Mafia on it's tail and they were the people arranging all these bad things to happen. When the ant got something to nom, that thing was poisoned which killed anything within the time span of 1 minute.

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^ All credit is given to Belg for one heck of a sig :3


Castellan of the Timelords

Luckily this ant vomited up the nom before he could eat it

However, the ant was still hungry so he ate some mysterious nom of of a wall (poison sludge)

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~Ask not what your server can do for you. Ask what you can do for your server~

Since LeChosen couldn't properly spell "off," the ant survive

Walrus was MAD so ant was smote down with a lightning bolt.

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^ All credit is given to Belg for one heck of a sig :3


Castellan of the Timelords

Error: player 'walrus' tried to execute command but failed. (aka ant lived)



sharpened enchanted diamond sword falls from the heavens with much speed and precision

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ant types /god and comes out unscathed

Error: You have been trolled by java and it therefore decided to give you a random crash message and crash your game <aka ant crashed along with the game>

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^ All credit is given to Belg for one heck of a sig :3


Castellan of the Timelords

but, he quickly rejoined the game, and everything was fine

until the ant fell down a ravine, and had half a heart left. Then the ant sees herobrine with a diamond enchantment sword with full diamond armor coming to him, and the ant is in a dead end.

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No longer active

The ant was luckily part dovakhin and at that moment his dragon blood coursed through his entire body and with one powerful ANT RO DAH he sends Herobrine flying to the far lands.

Due to the power needed for it, the ant fainted and now was on the edge of death. The catch is, he's lying on a very active, dangerous fault line.

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^ All credit is given to Belg for one heck of a sig :3


Castellan of the Timelords

But the fault line was not active, so ant could get up and walk away like nothing happened

Antgetskilledbymebecauseitdestroyedmyspacebar

But Walrus favors the ant and fixes Xantos' spacebar and also buys Xantos a top of the line HD Monitor.

Ant is sniped by me because he stole my picnic D:<

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^ All credit is given to Belg for one heck of a sig :3


Castellan of the Timelords

But, the sniper rifle was filled with marshmallow ammunition

However, the marshmallows were enough to push the ant into a lava pool filled with radiation, explosives, and poison gas, with an electric field and gospel music in the background.

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~Ask not what your server can do for you. Ask what you can do for your server~

Fortunatly, the ant was immunised against all those dangers

Ant gets drowned in a pool of custard

Ant eats all the custard and survives.

Ant has a fatal stomach attack (dah heck is that? o3o)

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^ All credit is given to Belg for one heck of a sig :3


Castellan of the Timelords

As because nothing like that exist, ant survived.

Ant dies

Ant does not listen to Xan so he lives.

Any is killed in a crossfire of posts in Forum Games between Xan and me

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^ All credit is given to Belg for one heck of a sig :3


Castellan of the Timelords

Fortunatly, ant had was on holiday at that time, so he didn't visit the forums.

Ant gets smacked by a coca cola bottle

But It was I who smacked it and after realizing what horrible thing I had done I nursed it back to health X3

Kiwi eats the ant ._.

Kiwi is disgusted and coughs it up on Crafty
Crafty kills it by smacking it..

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....Seriously? XD
I didn't have the heart to smack it too hard so it lives

ant drowns in a cup of... Grape juice...?

Walrus was temporarily residing in it due to Gallifreyan special ops testing and saved the ant. Ant was shot in a surprise attack by the Exiles.

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^ All credit is given to Belg for one heck of a sig :3


Castellan of the Timelords

Fortunately, the bullets were made of clouds, which did no harm to ant

Ant gets burned by a flamethrower

But it started to rain so the ant survived o.o
The ant falls down a crack in the road ._.

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The hole wasn't deep at all, so ant survives.

Ant gets hit by an asteroid speeding at 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000km/h

Asteroid weighs 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 gram so ant is unharmed.

Ant then finds refuge from the rain under a sandwich and is eaten.

Ant is spat out as soon as the person eating the sandwich notices that there's an ant in his sandwich

Ant falls down Mount Everest

on the long decent down Mount Everest the ant deploys its parachute rescuing it from its splattery fate.


Once safe at the bottom the ant must walk to the nearest village but it is too great of a distance in the frosty region and the ant slowly freezes to death.

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Luckily, it was global warming, so he got out before he could say ice.

Ant dehydrates

But finds a drink of...derpy drink, so survives:D

While drinking the ant gets sprayed by an annoying little child with a hose:3

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Ant quickly put on some swimming goggles and survived

Ant gets poured on by petrol a lit up

running away gravel sudenly falls from above extinguishing the flame

the gravel suficates him

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Im stewpid... culdnt get my signurtare to werk... please keall me now!

It digs it's way up to the top

Ant makes orbit

random water with air bubble inside so that the ant saves the poor thing.


asteroid goes weeee kapow into the ant

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